Breaking the Silence

A week and a half ago, I sat in my psychiatrist’s office. Thankful that I had made it two more months since my last appointment with no sudden downturns, no sleepless nights.

But I told him I was feeling apathetic in the mornings, like it was hard to get up in time to read my Bible—it was easier to snooze my alarm until I had to get up for work. I said I would try to take my medicine earlier the night before, he nodded his head and said what I am on are the least sedative drugs in their families. He commented on the smile and sparkle in my eye I had, even though it was still morning.

Then I asked the question I had been planning to ask for weeks. “What’s the plan for long-term?” ‘Well we may tweak your medication down the line if something new comes out,’ he said, ‘but you’ll always need to be on something.’ He then confirmed the potential diagnosis of bipolar that I had been given back in October.

I wasn’t shocked by it. Naturally I hoped he might say ‘I think you just had a season of depression, we can try to wean you off things and see how it goes.’ But the more I view certain seasons of my life through the lenses of a bipolar diagnosis, the more some things make sense.

I’m definitely still learning how to live with my medicated self. There are still moments I feel like the “real me” is a bit lost in a haze. There are things about the pre-2018 me that I still miss. Primarily, it feels like my passion for God had a big bucket of water dumped on it….I haven’t really prayer journaled or had an amazing quiet time for weeks/months. And I miss it. I miss feeling Him the way I used to sometimes.

The doubt tries to creep in. Those moments when I felt the Spirit whispering truth into my heart, was that just hypomania? Was I deceiving myself? Will I ever be able to experience that again while stabilized on medication?

A friend shares a blog by an author with bipolar. It is her story which drives me to write today again, because in her story I see my own.

“I clung to my enlarged capacity and imagined how different my life would be if it remained. This hypomanic thrust of energy makes me believe I am the woman I was created to be. I see God. I am unafraid. This is the hardest part of bipolar. Knowing it can’t and won’t last. That the meds will bring me back to some kind of salvific ordinary and if I refuse them, I know the descent into madness too.”

Alia Joy, http://aliajoy.com/the-fluency-of-hope/

After a full year of not fully knowing or trusting myself, after more roller coaster ups and downs than I can count, I am thankful for the new combination of medications I’m on that have helped me to function “normally” these past four months. And yet it’s a new normal, not quite like the old normal. I’m still trying to find my way…still trying to find what’s next after 2018 stripped me away from the place where I had made my adult home.

My normal now seems so very ordinary—so very rhythmic. Get up & go to work—change diapers and feed cereal and enjoy nap time and love Baby V; workout & go home to dinner or maybe to an evening activity. I live for the weekends and payday as they both give a break to my routine. I’m working on meeting more people. I’m working on community. But it’s not always easy, not for an introvert like me.

“These days I go back and pull from my writing, my memories, and try to remember the world as I once experienced it. It’s more muted now. Calmer. There is less meaning in everything. The regularity of life has replaced the roller coaster. It feels more like a slow ferry ride, chugging steadily through thick and murky waters. There is a mundane element that I am learning to embrace, the ordinariness of chopping vegetables for stew. Walking the dog. Adding paper towels to the grocery list. The feel of my pillow beneath my head with no rambling thoughts to pull me from sleep and taunt me.
But there are sacrifices to surviving. I know this now. This disease costs you something whether you stay sick or you get well. Because who am I if I am not bipolar? What parts of my disease were a broken brain and what parts are me, the me I’ve always known?”

Alia Joy, http://mudroomblog.com/when-i-am-bipolar/

Baby V’s cry breaks the silence of the house, and it’s time to go back to nanny-mode. With no answers found, no breaking of the clouds, no voice from heaven. But in voicing these things, even here, I’m letting my mind voice itself to God. I know and believe that He hears & sees & knows & answers—in His time & will, and for His glory.

Random thoughts, little update

I know, I do a bad job of keeping this updated...........This is partly because I more frequently use Facebook as a place to keep track of what's going on with my life. When I do have time to just write what I want to, I more frequently write about spiritual (more important) matters, and those posts go on my spiritual blog. I recently (well, in late November) did a seven-part series on there about what God taught me throughout 2011 - best year of my life in many ways :)

But, here's a not-so-spiritually-focused reflection on how my life is going...so it's on this blog ;-) (I know, I'm way too organized for my own good sometimes..........)

Random Thoughts (in no particular order)

1. My boys are still funny~~~I worked over Christmas break nannying. It's interesting to see how the boys are changing some as they grow up more.

• Brian is super good at Legos! He's determined and patient (most of the time) to complete his sets. Legos are nearly the only thing that would keep his attention for longer than about 15 minutes...... The other thing that does a decent job of keeping his interest is playing football in the front yard. We had fun doing that every day of the last week. The first day he saw me with my new hair cut (my hair's now a little shorter than shoulder-length) he said, "Is it just me, or did you get a hair cut??" Such a funny way of asking it :D
• Christopher is still cute :) The first day I was doing the "this little piggy" on his toes as I had done other times, and he remarked "Esther, you do funny things to me." Another day we were playing outside, and he picked up a stick. "This stick's going to watch us," he announced, and proceeded to place it carefully where we wouldn't step on it. Some other time during lunch he proceeded to make up a little song (some background is that they got cookie cutters in the shape of Star Wars "Tie fighters" to cut sandwich shapes): "Tie fighter, Tie fighter.....I eat my samwich {he still mispronounces it...} in a tree house because it has a table"...No idea where the last part came from :D He's also decided that playing restaurant is great fun. We did it for a couple hours each day the last week :)
• Both of them were sad I had to come back to college. I was telling Brian when I'd have to go back to school, and he asked when I'd be back. I told him I'd probably come see him during Spring Break, which is in March. "But that's a long time from now!" he moaned. Yes, I know bud. I'll miss you too.

2. Family is special~~~Not only was I able to spend time with my immediate family (Dad, Mom, Nathan), but we also made a trip up to NE for cousin Brad's wedding and saw most of Mom's immediate family. But we came home one short, since Nathan flew back to USAFA from Oklahoma City. And he most likely won't be coming back to Dallas until Thanksgiving. Which is sad :(

3. I love my friends~~~even if Nathan says it's silly that I say that to my girl friends.

• Mrs. S is my everything lady - she was my co-op teacher in high school, she's let me work for her for a super long time, we can sit and talk , I get to make cards with her - Teacher, Boss, Friend. I'm super grateful for her :)
• Courtney - even though I only get to see her when I'm in Dallas on breaks, it's always a joy to spend a couple of hours just talking together (usually at Starbucks :D). I'm also glad that we chat online once in a while.
• Sarah - she's an absolutely amazing friend :D This semester she's studying abroad, so I miss her A LOT. But the other day I got a sweet letter from her that made my week :) So thankful for her :)
• Jessica - my sweet roommate who willing puts up with me day-in and day-out :) We can laugh with each other, making fun of ourselves and what happens to us - or we can talk about serious things. I'm going to miss her when she graduates!
• Lynnette - she's one of those people who I know I can talk to about anything (as are most of my friends on this list....). We've had several adventures together - like walking all the way around the Dogwood Trail in a foot and a half of snow or going on a horseback ride out at New Life Ranch.
• Hannah and Laura - who formed the most terrific Honors Orientation mentor group ever! I'm thankful for and love both of them individually, but when you get the three of us together, you had better watch out! It was so a God-thing that they were "my" girls - I soon recognized that we would be good friends beyond the class :)
• Sojourn girls! - I love my hall!!!!! I've been in the same dorm room for three years now, and even though the hall does change some from semester to semester, it's a great place to live :D

4. Time is a weird thing~~~This is something I've really noticed in college. It works something like this: the days go fast, the weeks go slow (it takes forever to get to the weekend), the months run away, and the years simply fly. I'm 21 now. And yes, that's a rather scary thought. To celebrate that milestone, I {ok, you can quit holding your breath! I didn't do anything crazy!} wrote my first Christmas letter :)

5. God's got me~~~Over break I really wrestled with the question of whether or not to enroll in the IPJ program after I was accepted (If you don't know what this program is, ask and I'll be happy to explain - I just don't feel like typing it out right now). Part of me feels as though it's almost selfish to go and do something like that when there are other people who will be using their summers to serve overseas. But I have come to peace that this is what God wants me to do at this time - and yes, I am excited :D As Lynnette said, often times when we come to a cross-roads a lot of the growth process is choosing which path to go down - and the choice prepares us for travelling down the path. I still have a lot to learn, but I feel as though I'm listening a lot better now than I have in my life before. And I have faith and believe that God will continue working in and through me :)

6. New Year, new me~~~right? So also in honor of my first year as a 21-year-old, I made my first New Year's resolutions:

• Workout six days/week, for at least 30 minutes. So far so good on this one. Having swimming class twice a week and being expected to swim two hours outside of that certainly helps! (And no, I can't swim. That's why I'm in the class!) After last semester of barely working out at all, I can't run nearly as far/fast as I would like. But it's amazing how much variety I've had so far - I could do core, PT, bike, run, play intramural basketball (yes, I'm horrible), swim, etc. etc.
• Read for 30 minutes five days/week (outside of homework). Last year I was completely addicted to a TV show. I've had at least eight books sitting on my shelf for that same year that I've been wanting to read. I go to my church library and there are so many books I'd love to read! So I've quit my TV show cold turkey (no, it wasn't a fun decision) and made a point of reading. Some of the great books I've read so far?
  --Crazy Love
  --Discerning the Voice of God
  --Kisses from Katie
  All great books I highly recommend! :D I can tell this one's going to be a little tough as the semester gets busier. But I hope to keep it up!
• Write for 30 minutes five days/week (outside of school papers etc.). Even though I've done pretty well on this one, there are still more times than I can keep up with when something will get me thinking and reflecting. I feel as though I learn more from what happens to me when I write about it. Blogging, journaling, they both count - and I like them both :D

7. Yes, I'm busy~~~I'm taking 18 hours of classes (two of which require major chunks of time outside of class), writing and working as a page editor for the campus newspaper, serving as the CEF GNC ministry leader, working 10 hours/week as a TA for workstudy, and trying to keep my New Year's resolutions AND my sanity. Yep, I think I over-committed myself. As I've done before. Yep, you'd think I'd learn....but noooooo :P It's hard for me to admit this as a perfectionistic over-achiever who likes {or maybe did like} to be a perfect student.....but I'm beginning to realize that maybe busywork assignments aren't the very most important thing in the equation of my life. No, don't worry. I have plenty of the busybee honors student in me still to not fail my classes (I think). And I am still struggling some with how to balance doing well at my occupation right now (I am primarily a student after all!) AND investing in people which has so much more eternal significance. It's not easy, especially since I often tend to over-think things....

So...that's all I can think of right now....and I need to head for bed soon. So thanks for reading, and if you think of me I'd appreciate your prayers that I would 1. Keep my perspective on God, 2. Focus on listening for His call, and 3. Learn how to properly balance how I spend my time.

Funny Fellas

Here's a post I've been meaning to do for a while.....about the funny things my little boys that I nanny say and do :) Brian will be 7 in July, and Christopher just turned 3.

Let me start off by saying that they have both changed since last summer!! I saw them a few times during the school year, so they both remember me and everything. But I can certainly see changes. For example:

• Christopher talks a lot more, and tries to tell me stories
• Christopher has learned how to use his imagination!!!!
• He's also completed potty training, which is great :D
• He's also learned to talk back..........which isn't so good :/
• Brian interacts with me more...car rides are rarely quiet now :D
• He's learning a sense of decency! Last year he would change clothes wherever, but now he does it in his room or the bathroom and warns me not to come in ;-)
• Brian can stay in the lines really well when he's coloring - and he does a great job!
• He's even starting to let me take his picture a bit more! :)

So, now on to some of the funny things they've done.....sadly this will be an incomplete list because I've been meaning to do this for a little while and might have forgotten some things.

1. Christopher's a fire man! He loves everything to do with fighting fires and has for the past 6 months or so. He's got a whole outfit that he loves wearing. When I watched them some during Christmas break, he rarely left the house without wanting his fireman's jacket and helmet. On the first or second day that I was there, this is how I discovered he had an imagination. He was telling me all about the fire we were fighting together and what tools we were using.

2. Christopher's stories. He always wants to tell people about what's happened to him recently... But when you mix a limited vocabulary with imperfect pronunciation and emphatic, fast talking it's usually difficult to follow what he's saying unless you know what's going on :D

3. Bugs Bunny. Christopher's evidently been watching Looney Tunes, because he likes imitating it. At lunchtime he always wants to eat some baby carrots so he can start eating one in the corner of his mouth and then hold it while saying "Ehhhhh, what's up doc?" His dad had to tell me what he was doing the first time, and we agreed the best part of the show is that it makes Christopher like carrots ;-)

4. Pronunciation. There are some things Christopher doesn't know how to pronounce properly yet, and it's really funny. "Samwich" (sandwich), "Buebies" (blueberries), "Noom Dough" (Moon Dough - I'll explain next), "Barnes an' Oble" (Barnes & Noble), etc. Although I think his mispronunciations are cute, I do try to help him learn the right way to say things :)

Moon Dough is this new-fangled version of Play Dough. Instead of being like clay, Moon Dough is more like a powder that kind of sticks together if you press it into a hard mold. If you try to mold it with your fingers, however, it just gives way. It's really weird to play with for the first time because it's not at all wet like Play Dough. It's dry, and that fact messes with your brain at first.

5. Simple misunderstanding. The other day when the boys and I went to the pool, some other children were playing there too and were nice enough to share their pool toys. They had some diving rings and they let Christopher play with one. So he trots over to me (he has this really funny prancing/trotting walk he does sometimes - kind of hopping from one foot to the other), holding the ring with both hands on his bottom. I couldn't figure out why he was holding it that way....then he said "I'm going to get it off the bottom!" Evidently the kids had told him that he was supposed to get the toy off the bottom of the pool and he took that to mean off his bottom! I couldn't help but laughing out loud at that - it was soooo funny to see :D

6. Hello, my name is Grammar. At least that's what Brian said I should be called. One time we were in the car stuck in traffic and we somehow got on the subject of littering. He said "I'm going to eat littering!" which started me off on an explanation of the fact that you can't eat verbs because they're actions. "It's like saying you're going to eat running!" I said. I had prefaced my mini-lecture with the question "do you know what grammar is?" Well then he said my name should be grammar because I talk about it so much. ;-) Evidently I told him the first week that I was grading papers and checking them for grammar. I don't remember telling him that, but he does. I think I've talked to him about grammar maybe one other time........

Later on in the car ride, he declared out of the blue - "You are part of the family, because you're my nanny!" I can't remember any reason for why he would have said that right then, but it made me very happy :) I think he sees me as something like a friend/big sister now. Occasionally as we're walking around at the Science Place or Zoo or something like that his hand will almost unconsciously slip into mine for a moment. It's never for very long, but it's still sweet of him :)

7. Playful ruts. It's funny to see how easily children get into habits and routine. They get to where they have certain favorite activities and certain ways they play with things. For example, whenever I take Christopher to the park I can count on the fact that he'll swing, do certain other activities, and swing more. Whenever we go to the pool (which has been every day this week!), Brian wants to play dolphin and Christopher wants to play doctor. And just because I took a seat cover off one of the beach chairs to stand on because the pavement was too hot one time, he thinks that's what must be done to play doctor properly ;-) When we go to Barnes & Noble, Brian typically wants me to read the same books to him and Christopher always goes and finds the same toy to play with. I do try to vary our activities and how we play with the toys...but it's just interesting to see their inclination to the familiar!

8. Children see/hear, Children do/say. Those two young fellas know almost every word of some pop songs like Bieber's "Baby" and Cruz's "Dynamite." I even heard Christopher sing the proper "Jingle Bells" all the way through the other day...but he might have been having some help with it. One of Christopher's favorite pretends is to use a "samarizer" like in the kid's show "Power Rangers." Almost any object the size of a TV remote quickly "becomes" one in his hands.

Boy oh boy is this one a good reminder. Anything they see me do or hear me say they could easily pick up and repeat. That's plain scary!!!

9. Sleepy boy. Christopher quit taking regular naps sometime early last fall. But this summer we've been having so much fun that he does get worn out. I can always tell when he gets tired because he'll start sucking his right thumb and his left hand will either get tucked into the waistband of his shorts or his fingers will slip through the tag on the side seam of his shirt. And about 75% of the time that I drive somewhere in the car with just him he'll fall asleep within a couple of minutes. One day he even let me read him to sleep and then I sat there on his bed and let him sleep on my lap for about 30 minutes. He tried to roll over at one point, so I helped him off my lap. He sat up on his knees and I thought for a minute that he was awake. He must have had his eyes open. But he wasn't really awake, because he put his head right down on his pillow/blanket and was sound asleep again :)

10. Surprise! This one kind of goes along with #7. I usually ride the train down to work, and the dad usually picks me up from the train station near their apartment. Christopher is usually with him. He knows all about "your train station" as he calls it, and I've taken the boys on the train whenever we've gone to the zoo. Anyway, Christopher is apparently of the opinion that the only way I can come see him is by the train. On the few occasions when I've driven down instead of riding the train, he's always really surprised to see me. It takes him a minute to register how in the world I got there, but then he greets me with "Esther!" in an excited voice :)

11. Talky talky. I'm kind of unsure what to do about this one...... The boys both love talking to other people - on the elevator, when we're at the pool, at the book store, etc. They're always curious about what adults are doing and love telling them about what we've been up to. While I know it's good for them to be friendly and curious, there's that old law of childhood - "don't talk to strangers!" And sometimes the boys just want to keep talking and I'm worried the adults might not appreciate these kids being so nosy and talking so long.

So there are some of my fun stories from my terrific job :D Of course, not everything is always so easy or always rosy. The boys aren't perfect and neither am I. And there's things I see that make my heart ache. But I prefer to focus on the happy things while trying to figure out how to deal with the flaws in a way that I don't step outside my bounds.

The last couple weeks of summer....

After our quick trip to Colorado for Nathan's Acceptance (into USAFA) Day parade (see these two posts on his blog to read about that) on August 2nd-4th, I nannied Christopher for one day and then they went on a family vacation. During the week they were gone (Aug. 9th-13), I was able to spend time with friends and put in 2-3 full days of work for Mrs. Stewart (my high school teacher - I'm her assistant when I'm in town), so that was really nice. I was also supposed to work on packing during that week. I think I did a bit, but not much. Oh, and before our Colorado trip I had taken Christopher back to the pool for a birthday party. That time I had my swimming suit on, so I was more willing to get wet - and so he did better than the first time I took him!

Anyway, the last week before coming back to JBU (Aug. 16-20) I nannied in the mornings, and one afternoon I think. I finally had both boys again, which made me happy :) I hadn't seen much of Brian for about five weeks, and I was missing him! (Mom kind of made fun of me for that - but I really do love those little guys!) During that week, we went back to the Museum of Nature and Science, and we also went to the Zoo again. On the other days, we would often go to the park and to Barnes & Noble. If I remember right, Brian asked me one time why I had to go back to college and why I couldn't keep coming over to spend time with him...but I promised him I would come see him when I'm in town :) Hopefully Christopher will remember who I am - I'm relatively sure he will.

On Saturday, August 21st, Dad and Mom and I packed up the van with all my *stuff* for college and headed out for a couple days of camping. We stayed at Devils Den State Park. The first night it was *really* hot and muggy, but the next morning we were able to get out early and do some hiking. We went on several *long* hikes, and in the afternoon we enjoyed some air conditioning at a place that had a beautiful over look and *lots* of hummingbird feeders! What's more, the owner of the gift shop had recently gotten a beautiful cockatoo, and I got to hold him! :D

Then on Monday the 23rd we came over to JBU and Dad and Mom helped me get moved into my room - the same room I had last year! My wonderful room mate Jessica arrived a little later in the afternoon, and we spent the next couple days arranging/unpacking.

And thus ended my wonderful summer at home - It's so odd living two different lives in a sense. I slip so easily from one to another now! I really haven't been homesick a bit...although I do miss Dad and Mom and Nathan and Bluebonnet. But at the same time I'm so glad to be back at JBU - it really is a second home.

Oh Be Careful Child Caretakers What You Do!

(In case you couldn't tell, the above is supposed to be sung to the tune of "oh be careful little eyes what you see") ;-)

I'm feeling bloggy today...just posted one about a good book, this one will be about "my" boys, and then I think there's going to be another one about this morning and/or the other parts of my life :)

I thought of this title yesterday while I was working at my nanny job. And it's so true!!! Little Christopher (turned 2 a couple months ago) mimics just about everything I do. Here's proof:

• A couple weeks ago, I sat down cross-legged on the floor to put his shoes on. He promptly used his hands to get his legs into the same position as mine :D I had to straighten out my legs so that he would straighten out his so I could get his shoes on! To this day, whenever we sit down on the floor, he crosses his legs - even if I don't :)
• I have an exercise I do to help rehab my back after a car accident several months ago. It involves standing with my knees bent and my back up against a wall, putting my arms up against the wall and then sliding them down the wall. Whenever I do it, Christopher watches very carefully and then says "my turn!" and stands up against the wall and tries to do it. And he's getting better at doing what he sees me doing!
• When we played with play dough, he was doing his best to do the same things to his that I did to mine! If I rolled it in a ball, he tried to do the same. If I put it on the table and started rolling it into a long string, he did too. If I squashed mine, he did the same. You get the idea.
• He also tries to mimic everything that Brian (just turned 6) does. This sometimes causes problems :/

Christopher is also one of the most observant little 2-year-olds I've ever seen! I wrote about how he noticed my shoes back on June 15th. Well, this week I got a new pair of tennis shoes, so when he saw them he was like "Esther's shoes!" and I said "yes, I got new shoes." One day I wore a yellow shirt that has hummingbirds. I have another yellow shirt (about the same color) that has pictures of lots of different birds, so when I got in the car and he saw my yellow shirt he said "birds!" Later, when we were playing with play dough, he said he was going to make a bird and he pointed to my shirt :) Isn't he adorable??? :D

Now that he's not in school, he seems to be forgetting some of his colors and shapes :/ So I obviously need to work on those more with him! He's really good at remembering songs though! He can sing the ABC song pretty much by himself, and he knows the Eensy Weensy Spider, Old MacDonald had a Farm, the Wheels on the Bus, Jesus Loves Me, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and Head Shoulders Knees and Toes :D

I think it's so funny how little kids breathe really hard through their mouth when they're concentrating on something ;-) Just thought I'd mention that.

There's so many other little things I could say about Christopher. He's just really cute :)

Brian has been doing a field-trip program through his school last week and he'll be doing it next week too. So that means I don't get to see him much :(

oh dear.....

Yesterday was my last day of nanny work for a little while, and boy was I glad of that! Thursday evening had been really tough (no details because that would be gossiping), and I was glad they were going out of town all next week so I could have a break. Then yesterday the parents told me I wouldn't be seeing Brian (the older one) for three weeks because he's going to do a summer program through his school for two weeks after they get back from vacation. And now I'm sad because I won't see him! So even though it's very tough being a nanny sometime - I really do love those guys!

Last week was, for the most part, fun. I went in the mornings, and the boys and I went several places. On Monday we went to the Museum of Nature and Science at Fair Park. Christopher loved the fire truck down stairs in the Children's Museum part :) Tuesday and Thursday mornings we went to the park and to Barnes and Noble (the park is Christopher's favorite, B&N is Brian's) and I also stayed for the afternoon those two days.

On Wednesday the boys and I rode DART down to the Dallas Zoo. That didn't turn out to be what I had expected it to be. I thought we would get to see lots of animals, but Brian was more interested in the activities at the Children's zoo area. But they had fun, so it was ok. They both freaked out when birds landed on them in the aviary though ;-) The birds were the sweetest cockatiels, but the boys weren't used to birds flying onto their heads...for some reason.... ;-) Brian enjoyed the train ride too, and Christopher did fine with it.

Yesterday I took them to their local swimming pool. Christopher is a bit afraid of the water, but he did pretty well. We just stayed in a shallow baby pool (only gets to two feet in depth) and in the splash area.

Boy oh boy, I really am going to miss "my" boys.....but I think it was time for a little break.

P.S. Brian asked on Monday why I couldn't stay all day - quite a change from him asking my first day what I was doing there ;-) And I've been invited to his birthday party :)

Nannying - the joys :)

My main job this summer is to be a part-time nanny for two boys. I was hoping to get a "real" job at a restaurant or retail store, but this is what God has provided for me and I am very thankful for it :) The family is related to a friend of a high school teacher of mine - so that's how I heard about the opportunity.

The two boys are Brian and Christopher. Brian will turn six next month, and Christopher just turned 2 last month (Christopher is above, Brian is in the picture riding his bike).

I babysat one evening in May as a trial run of sorts, but I really started my job on June 1st. The first week, I worked during the mornings and only had Christopher because Brian was at a tennis camp. Christopher and I had our schedule down pat :D He and his dad would pick me up from the train station at about 9:00, and then he and I would play with his yellow truck out front, look at the flowers, and walk along the rock pathway counting the rocks. Sometimes I would push Christopher in his tricycle. After a while, we would go to the park not too far from their house. The first day, all Christopher was really willing to do was go up the regular steps and walk around on the playground. By Friday, he was climbing up just about every way to climb up, going down the slide by himself, and swinging in all the swings :) We would play for a couple hours, then go back to the house and eat lunch, look at a couple of books, and then he would go down for his nap.

Even though Christopher just turned two, he is very smart! He knows the ABC song pretty well, can count up to about 7 (though he often says "one, two, four, five..."), is fairly good at identifying colors and shapes, knows what and where all his facial features are, knows lots of words, and is almost potty trained! Both boys go to a Montessori school, and I think that is where Christopher gets most of his training.

These second two weeks I have gone in the afternoons and have had both boys. I get there at about 12:30, feed the boys lunch, and put Christopher down for his nap. Then Brian and I usually do play dough, play with his pirate ship, he gets dressed up in costumes, and sometimes we look at books. I also take Brian to his swim lessons, and last week I took him to Ride and Glide (a bike camp at the YMCA). Sometimes the boys and I go to Barnes and Noble and look at books there.

Christopher is super cute, and thankfully he and I hit it off pretty well :) I taught him my name on Thursday or so of the first week, and he's always excited to see me when they pick me up from the train station :D I was going to put in some of the cute things he's done, especially the first week, but I feel like I've already forgotten some of them :(

One is that he says "Peek-a-bo, I see you" in the cutest voice! He also says "I've gotchyou, I've gotchyou" any time he's feeling nervous/scared/uncomfortable. He has the biggest blue eyes - lots of people comment on them when they see him. And he can say "yes!" or "okay" in the cutest voice possible if he wants to do something you're suggesting. Also, he always notices what is on my shirt! I wore two different horse shirts two days in a row, and so now he keeps asking for horses when he sees me :)

His dad told me this funny story - evidently the mom has the same kind of tennis shoes that I do. So one day she was squatting down talking to Christopher and he looked at her shoes and said "Esther's shoes!" So that shows you that he is a *very* observant young fellow! :D

Brian and I get along pretty well too....we had more of a rough start, but that's rather understandable since he's six and thus has stronger opinions! I think we have come to a fairly good understanding, but we still have a couple tough spots once in a while. I can't really think of anything cute or funny he's done yet...oh well.

I'm only going to blog about the positive/fun things that happen.......but believe me, that doesn't mean that's the whole story. These boys are, of course, human just like all the rest of us. But I just try to focus on the positive and love on them a lot.